Since I’ve started my journey of entrepreneurship, I’ve started pouring through books. One of the books I have been especially fond of is How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie. In this book he highlights and discusses all the things you need to know in order to create thoughtful and meaningful relationships inside and outside business.
I’ve gleaned a lot from this book, so I’ve created 5 Tips for Social Success. Enjoy!
- Smile- It seems simple right? However, I often catch myself not smiling enough. It’s good to smile because it initiates a smile in someone else which often puts them in a good mood. As humans we are wired to assimilate our surroundings. If someone is smiling we usually smile as well. If you are ever in a tense situation, smiling helps ease it a bit.
- Remember Names- For a long time when meeting people I would say: “Oh I’m terrible at names, I’m sorry if I forget yours.”. What a sorry excuse. An individual’s name is one of the most important things. That is their identity, and constant since birth. Has someone ever mispronounced your name or forgotten it? It doesn’t feel very nice does it? For example, a gentleman who works for a delivery company comes by my work everyday. He’s quiet, and to himself until one day I ask him his name. He chuckled at my asking (probably a little caught off guard by the oddity) and told me his name was “Alex”. From that day on every time I saw him I greeted him with his name. His face became much happier, and in future meetings he memorized my name and even asked me about how I was doing. I had created a relationship, and brightened someone’s day by merely remembering his identity.
- Be Genuine- When you listen to someone speak, be genuine. Your phone should go away, your eyes should make contact, and affirmation should be present. These are key things lacking in our current society. Often times we split our concentration under the guise of “multitasking”. In reality we are blatantly disinterested. People recognize genuine interest, and disinterest which reflect their behavior towards us.
- Control Your Perspective- In certain circumstances we are confronted with someone who is angry, awkward, or upset (perhaps with good reason). Try to be humble, and see it from their perspective. The more you understand their thoughts, needs, and wants the more successful you will be at solving the problem.
- Follow Up- When someone tells you their daughter is performing in a county play next weekend, they are sharing with you an important detail in their life. You may think: “What do I care about some third grader’s play?”. Perhaps you don’t care for a children’s play, but you do care about your friend or colleague’s wants or enjoyment. Try following up with them on how their daughter’s performance went. People value people who value them.
In another example, let’s say you have a friend that mentions they enjoy dry British humor; and you happen across a video similar, you might try linking them to that video. It’s small gestures like these that encourage a good relationship.
Now you might be wondering, Sierra am I doing all this to manipulate people? Absolutely not. You are doing this to encourage relationships, create mutual benefits, and be a decent human being. Creating a joy and becoming invested in someone’s life is a lost art. I challenge you to use these tips and see what reward you will find in it as well as the joy it brings in other’s day to day lives. We need more of it!