There’s a lot to growing up that we anticipate. Things like paying bills, going to work, making your own doctor appointments *shudder*. But there are things people don’t tell you. Things I’ve been experiencing over the past few weeks. Here are 5 Things No One Tells You About Being an Adult
- Age and Body Dysphoria- No one mentioned to me that as I grew older that the slightest changes in my body and mind would shock me. Noticing small things like my hands having a few more wrinkles, my facial skin not being as smooth or taut as it once was, and people suddenly calling me “Ma’am” and “Miss”. It seems dumb and even trivial, but it’s weird aging and cognitively understanding the process that people are identifying you as older than maybe you mentally feel. Sometimes I still feel like an awkward teenage girl while seniors and middle-agers are staring at me like I’m already a seasoned adult. It’s uncomfortable, and frankly I’m unready to have that kind of weight on me, but then the thought of: “Will I ever be?” always makes me grit my teeth and keep pushing forward.
- Grieving- As a kid grieving was an easier process. You threw a tantrum, stopped talking, listened to angst music, or ate as many sugar cookies as possible. Now as an adult I have to savor the bitterness until I return from work. Then find a tangible and mature way to relieve the grief without taking it out on someone. What’s even weirder is feeling a haze of discomfort and sadness, but not knowing why or how to resolve it (all of the Psychologists are screaming “INTERNALIZATION). Yeah doc, I know. Being an adult (of good mental health) I can usually and easily identify the source of sadness. It’s the process of justifying and coming to terms with the idea that “I’m not okay” and “I have no idea how to healthily discharge the feelings.”. Being an adult is weird and as I mature it becomes harder to cope with this weirdo life. Even confiding in people is harder because what are they going to say? “Sorry that person passed.”, “Sorry they got divorced?”, “Better luck next time on your dream job?”.
- Watching People Progress- Now you may not experience this until later or until the people you surround yourself with start getting their ish together BUT it’s weird seeing people age. It’s bizarre seeing people get married, have babies, and hear about their parents divorcing or dying. It’s weird. You go from growing up with people and dreaming of the day you can drive and then you watch time speed past you like a red Honda Civic speeding into a three car crash. This one kind of goes along with the age dysphoria- feeling like you should be younger and in a previous chapter of your life, but also enjoying the current happiness and events as an adult. Growing up gets trippy.
- Making Friends- It’s about to get personal for me y’all. When you’re a kid your parent signs you up for those extra curricular classes so you can socialize and make friends which you bemoan the whole time until you actually start making friends. It’s been awkward for me to make friends. Good, genuine, salt of the fuh-reaking Earth friends. Especially since I moved to a big college town (which I am not a student) and have no friends up here. I have to make the plunge to get out there and join clubs, classes, and get togethers (which usually cost monies). Making friends as an adult is suddenly like dating as a teen: “Do they like me?”, “Am I boring them?”, “Are they having fun?”, etc. Which frankly I am over. I want to make genuine, loyal, awesome friends who don’t need to drink their lives away to have fun. It wouldn’t hurt if they loved the Lord and enjoyed business talks too(queue UniKitty from The Lego Movie).
- Being Discontent With Personal Progress- I can only speak for myself, but I am a big picture kind of dreamer (thanks and no thanks to God). God drums up these gargantuan and incredible dreams for me to accomplish. Often times I feel lonely, under-prepared, and uncredible for the mountain of awesome I feel I’m supposed to procure. I never knew that my personal progress would weigh on me so heavily. I’ve always had a stubborn and self-invested mindset which has been a great propeller, and growing up has been awesome but it’s kicked me in the face a little bit too.
Now don’t get me wrong! Being an adult is great, but these are some of the things that no one really talks about as you age.
Have you experienced any of these things? Have some of your own adult surprises? Comment them down below and don’t forget to “like”.