Palmetto Bug Stress Disorder (PGSD)

Have I got a story for you. It was a rainy night, nearly 2 am, and I was finally making my way to the car. If you’re familiar with Florida summers you know that it’s bright and sunny in the morning, and torrential downpours in the afternoon/evening. A perfect setting for…bugs. *Cue dramatic lightening*. Now…

A Letter to Anxiety

Dear Anxiety, I hope this letter finds you in good wealth And in a prosperous enough position to put health In the pockets of someone like me: down on their luck. You see that was my life you decided to f—————. ….Wait a minute that’s a different letter… It’s supposed to go like this: Dear Anxiety,…

The Ins and Outs of Renting in Orlando

Hello lovely people! Long time no talk. Life has just kicked me in the nads if you know what I mean. About a month ago my roommates and I received a sixty day notice to vacate the home because they were putting it on the market. As you can imagine that’s thrown a wrench in…

Good Mourning-A Tutorial

Hi everyone in light of the passing of my dear Uncle Jerry I have decided to hide my weepy feelings with a satirical post as all good millenials do! Please enjoy this tutorial on how to mourn with someone. Mediocre Mourning- “I’m sorry for your loss.” (Pro Tip: It’s best not to mention anything about loss/dying/death…

5 Things No One Tells You About Being an Adult

There’s a lot to growing up that we anticipate. Things like paying bills, going to work, making your own doctor appointments *shudder*. But there are things people don’t tell you. Things I’ve been experiencing over the past few weeks. Here are 5 Things No One Tells You About Being an Adult     Age and…

You’re Not a Man if You Don’t Have a Beard

Church came a day early y’all.  This morning a I read an interesting post by liquorgunsbaconandtits (classy I know) on Facebook. I’ll go ahead and fill you in on what it said:  “The masculine American male is a dying breed. We have been told for far too long that violence is never the answer. We’ve…

Valentine’s Day on a Budget

Now I’m personally not a huge fan of Valentine’s Day for the typical reasons and for the fact that most couples turn into the gross, smushy, love gushers we all know and ha- I mean love. (Shots fired). Anyhoo it can be fun to partake in all of the commercialism, but perhaps you don’t have…

Making Hard Decisions

Recently my husband Daniel and I had to make a hard decision. In short we were offered a trip of a lifetime at no cost to us simply because the givers were generous. Why is this a hard decision? Take the free trip and “Run Forest run!” was my first thought. Then Daniel and I…

Customer Etiquette 101

Let’s talk about customer etiquette shall we? Now I know the saying is “The customer is always right.” but that saying should be buried six feet under. Here is a list of pet peeves that you should avoid if you want to be a good customer AND receive great service. I shall now drudge up…

Romance is Dead

This week my best friend Sarah, and I had a conversation about romance and its actual definition.”Romance- A feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love.” At first it sounds wonderful. It’s a crazy drug that has been written about for centuries. Whole nations have come together and been torn apart by romance. Everyone craves…

Skinny Privileges

Hey everyone! Today I’ll be talking about “Skinny Privileges”. You might ask “what is that”? Well the internet has a couple different descriptions. I’m going to be going through the two main thoughts. Skinny Privileges/ Thin Privilege is when people who are thin experience “perks” from their low body weight and thin looks. This includes…

New Year New Speech Blah Blah Blah

Happy New Year! 2016 was garbo blah blah blah this year is going to be awesome blah. This year will be an amazing one if you make it amazing. As Gary V would say “You won the lotto of life… you weren’t born a f#$%ing sunflower.” Get out there and kill the game! This year…